Hi there
Hi there,
You are a courageous and brave woman!
Just to share with you: I have now at home: Firstborn son age 30 he lives kind of in his own world just spent 48 hours on the couch under a blanket since Thu eve. Rarely speaks. Diagnosed with Asperger since 7/21. It took a LOT of persistance to get him diagnosed and then the Miracle: I got a State psychiatrist to agree for him to receive Disability which means a bit more than $ 1000 a month . Halleluja! Review is up in 7/2023. Fine! The doc made the decision in his absence - as he refused to show up.
2nd kid is normal 28 cute loving warm and finally has agreed to contribute $ 100 to living expenses.
3rd son 27 definitely Asperger ASD confirmed in 2018 thank G-d he also got approved for $ 1000 disability. Survived his 22.10. Suicide attempt after 11 attempts in 4 years at Independence all of which failed. One month in Psychiatric ward then he insisted on coming home - literally begged me to allow him to come home. And I said "Yes" ...can really understand him. Working on getting a Psychiatric Evaluation (in addition to the One by the Psychologist) so our City's Welfare Department Autism Coordinator can open a file so then possibly "Alut" Israel's premiere Autism organization in which the late Leah Rabin (Prime Minister's Wife) took a Major Role to launch a network of Living Fascilities for Young Adults with Autism as they have real trouble achieving Practical Adult Independence) will be able to locate a suitable Group home for him in 2022 - so he can build something of a life for himself at last - in a safe setting with appropriate support.
4th son 18 working in Solar Pannel Installation he used to have super severe ADHD refused mightily to take any Ritalin, instead I did NeuroOptimal Neurofeedback sessions with him and yes 2 out 4 parameters definitely improved when we tested him after 15 such sessions.
My 22 year old daughter checked out 2 years ago from our Special Needs Household of me and her 4 brothers and got married to a guy with a heavy stutter but so far so good she is sticking it out with him here in the Coastal Town of Herzliah and says she likes her Independence.
Last but not least comes Me officially diagnosed in 2015 with an "Anxiety Disorder" - who wouldn't after marrying a penniless (literally) guy from a Kibbutz and having 5 children with him - his story was that he only talked when he was 4 years old and that the infamous Children's House collective upbringing resulting in him severely stunted in his ability to bond with either me his wife of 17 years or his 4 sons - he prefers his daughter for emotional closeness. Who in turn prefers me and lets me know that I am her life...
The kicker is that after my 3rd son who is very bright self-diagnosed with ASD - I checked myself with the Cambridge Online Asperger Assessment and Bingo! ME TOO!
The next thing I checked online was what about families with several Aspies in them. In our case by now 3 and I bet also the father who repeatedly as an adult would tell me that he requires a speech therapist...I see now in our 3rd son also a real difficulty in producing fluent, self-expressive and confident Speech. Which makes it imperative to already get him professional help!
So by now we are up to several thousand dollars in Government Disabilities and as a responsible Citizen I will responsibly use these funds to advance all my sons' cognitive & emotional development. It is extremely reassuring to KNOW that we are financially SAFE and can pay all our bills. Plus save some. I am sooo grateful for that! A silver lining in a pretty serious situation...
As I used to depend on my soon 84 year old dad for financial support, who was really dismayed at my massive difficulties in getting hired into your normal 9 to 5 full time job and could not understand how I was failing with 2 academic degrees - mind you one in Human Development from the University of Chicago - and 3 mother tongue level languages - English German and Hebrew.
The point of this tale for you is to encourage you to take everything in Stride One Day at a time & make the most of our lives - Landmark Education and its Forum Course for Breakthroughs which I first attended in 1988 in Chicago has really really helped me stay not only SANE, but empowered throughout it all so that I am taking reality with a good mindset, and also make sure to have FUN and Happiness in this Wild Life.
Tomorrow Sunday I will head out for a dinner date with a 65 year young fun retired doctor who just moved here from the US and then its our non-vaxxed Singles Evening at Jerusalem First Station. Another great opportunity!
Why not? !! In the Conservative World of Torah-observant Jewish people we live in - another good thing we have going is that my sons do hang on to Faith and also to Tradition - so Passover is on the way in 12 weeks - and Personal Redemption is an ongoing process that Involves Building and Growing Sustainable Consciousness - in us and in our loved ones - and G-d is an equal opportunity BOSS, who loves all of us as His Children - no matter what kind of brain structure we have - He just asks of us that in the midst of our Struggles as Human Beings, we don't forget His Blessed Presence and that He does want to help us.
There are 4 books that I want to write when its the right time and in the meantime I go 3 hours in the Afternoon to a Daycare Program with 3 year olds both to change the scence once a day and for some money as well, and continue loving MY AWESOME SELF and MY SONS just the way they are...as its all from G-d!
Blessings from the hilly town of Beitar Illit - feel free to be in touch.
I know the constant pressure to keep on doing things for our adult children can be overwhelming - its really important to form a close-nit structure of support by other adults and I am now consciously setting up regular get-togethers in my home for other parents in the same boat.
Mrs. Hannah Porat
hannah.porat@gmail.com
