The Infamous Glory of Single Motherhood

|”The last thing I want to be in life is a single mother of 5 children”, I thought when I pushed for my divorce after our marriage of 17 years from my husband and father of the 5 children, today 4 young adults (27, 25 and 24, three first sons, my daughter 20 and then my last boy, now 15 and a full-fledged teenager in 9th grade, plus Edvah his 3 month old puppy dog — half Labrador, and half Canaanite, an adorable female, non-barking quiet and playful dog.

That was in 2007. 12 years ago. The last 12 years on my own with the children, some co-parenting with their father, have been a roller-coaster ride. In the beginning, I had some catastrophic metaphors, like “exciting an aeroplane in the middle of flight with 5 children, and no financial stability”, or “pulling out the main pole (the father) out of our tent (the family) and the whole thing collapsing”. I did go through rough financial and emotional times. More about that further down.

In the beginning, I hid my newly divorced status from my neighbours and acquaintances, in our Ultra-Orthodox suburb out of Jerusalem. I did not want anyone to know that I was divorced, did not want the stigma that comes with the inglorious status. It did not take long to find out that there was an unwritten policy in the community NOT to invite single, divorced women to the Shabbes table. So that they should not start up with the man in the home. Over time I had my rooster of female friends that I would simply come in on Shabbat noon, to join them and their families at their table, when…